31 Days, Children's Books, Parenting

Grab Your Winter Coat Books

When I was eight years old, I was given a wool, London Fog, pea coat. I can’t remember who gave it to me now. It was black, with some dark magenta and teal threads woven through. My mom was very pleased that I received a Christmas gift that was so timely and well made. But I really hated that coat. It was heavy and bulky and too big. It was straight up and down with big buttons, and had no saving ruffles or frills. I wore it grudgingly for two winters. I felt it didn’t match anything and made me look like Randy in A Christmas Story It was not the red coat or a blue coat or a beautiful purple coat I envisioned myself in. My parents (and whoever bought it in the first place) were right, though; it was a quality coat. I think I and each of my two sisters wore it for two winters apiece. And my youngest sister really liked it! Last time I saw it, it still looked nearly new. It’s probably in my parents’ attic, waiting to pounce on my daughter.

When I think of my favorite  children’s books for winter, I realize that coats are a central theme. I start asking myself, “Why coats?”  Here’s what I’ve come up with: A coat is a piece of clothing you wear on the outside–there’s no hiding it. A coat is something that nurtures you and keeps you warm. It’s a necessity in most climates. But the central importance of a winter coat being one you like is this: you only get one. Even in our culture of excess, most people only have one true winter coat. When you’re eight, it’s important that it’s a coat you actually want to wear.

A New Coat for AnnaI’ve been reading A New Coat for Anna to my children lately. Set in post World War II Germany, Anna’s mother barters a few of her family treasures as she and Anna walk through each step of making a new coat, from the sheep to the tailor. While I am not sure how Anna’s mother managed to hold on to her heirlooms through the actual war, unless she started out pretty well off, I do love this book. I smile at hearing my children say to each other as they play, “I have no money, but I will give you this apple if…”. Bartering is still a useful skill, right?

The Purple CoatAnother great book centered on a girl and her coat is The Purple Coat. This may be the source of my purple coat envy. In this book, Gabrielle decides to buck her usual trend of blue winter coats and asks instead for a deep purple one. Her grandfather and mother are unsure about this decisions. With some creativity, what unfurls is the perfect coat, inside and out.

Changes for Kit: A Winter Story (American Girls: Kit, #6)I was about six when American Girl dolls and their books hit the market, I was bedazzled by all of it. I saved up money for months to buy Kirsten, although my favorite books were the Molly series. I was so vain–I wanted what I thought was the prettiest doll. In all of those books, the coat is a central piece. I was out of the American Girl stage by the time Kit came into the family of characters, but I read them all the same, under the guise of reading to my youngest sister. Changes for Kit tells of her mother’s resourcefulness and Kit’s generosity, and it’s all centered on a coat. It’s a great book for kids who are just getting ready to have parents read aloud to them out of chapter books, because it still has a good many pictures and it includes a great lesson.

So bring out your winter coats, gather some winter coat books, and if at all possible, get your child a coat she’ll really like to wear.

This post is part of the 31 Days of Picture Book Series. To see the posts in the series, go here

Parenting, Reading

The Library Is For Everyone

It’s no secret that I love the public libraries in our area. Several times a week, I fight the urge to turn into the library entrance instead of drive the remaining 500 feet down the road to the grocery store. Sometimes, I do make a spur of the moment library trip. Because I’m young and spontaneous like that. Livin’ on the edge, you know. When I text “I’m not an addict, it’s cool…” to my husband, he knows I’m making a library detour.

But usually, the kids and I  just go once every week or two.  I’ll send Isaac (2) and Ella (4) to gather all the books that are due that week (yes, we always forget one or two) and then we take a couple of hours out of our day to choose new books, play in the kids’ area, grab a few carefully selected videos (Little Einsteins are our favorites!) and try to make it through the check out line without knocking over any book displays, or worse, elderly patrons.  Because even though I love the library and my kids love it, too, and have been in library behavior training their entire lives, we don’t quite have it down. Isaac doesn’t always stay next to me. Sometimes he talks too loud. Sometimes he runs before he remembers to walk. Sometimes Ella crosses her arms and glares when I won’t let her get the video she wants most. Sometimes they just want to play on those really tall stools by the science fiction shelves. “Isaac, ” I hiss too loudly, “get. down.” And then I start to feel guilty and self conscious. The check out librarians must hate us. Those elderly gentlemen who are always sitting next to the paperbacks reading political thrillers must hate us. The reference librarian….the tutor trying not to pull her hair out over middle school math…the guy writing a surefire bestseller next to the window on his laptop…they must really hate us.

But then, I remember: the library is for everyone.

Really, it is.

And when I stop caring so much about what other people must be thinking of me and my children and actually keep my head up, I realize that pretty much everyone is smiling at us. Smiling! Our favorite circulation librarians know that Ella loves Fancy Nancy and Isaac loves dragons and knights, and they complement the kids on their good taste. (They also know I’m good for a few dollars in late fees each month). The reference librarian smiles at us as we walk by her desk to those comfy, colorful arm chairs in the Young Adult section that my kids willingly sit still in while I get a book (please note: we go to the library before school gets out; I wouldn’t dare enter the teen lair otherwise). The guy with the laptop writing whatever he’s been writing for the last two years…he’s not smiling. But he’s not looking up, either, so maybe we’re not bothering him too much. The elderly gentlemen want to give the kids peppermints (no candy in the library!) and ask “can I take them home with me?” Hmm. No. But it’s really nice of you to ask.

I’m sure there are people who wish I wouldn’t bring my preschoolers to the library, or at least wish I wouldn’t let them out of the children section. The biggest library in our city keeps the children’s section in the basement…that kind of offends me. Because the more I take Ella and Isaac to the library, the more they learn about what I expect of them and how to meet those expectations.

All children have different personalities and I’m sure in certain situations the battle isn’t worth the effort. I understand that. I don’t take my kids shopping for other kids’ birthday parties if I can help it. I know they could learn valuable lessons about giving instead of getting, though I haven’t been brave enough to confront that lesson in Target. But maybe I should. Children need to practice the life skills we want them to have. That applies to so many areas of parenting little ones. It’s easier said than done, and much easier at home than in public. Still, what I am learning is that I don’t need to be bound by the fear that my kids won’t behave. It’s high time for them to learn how to behave. And besides that, pretty much everyone has children in their lives, or did at one time.  They’re probably not going to flip out when my child breaks the very large container of yogurt while trying to put it on the conveyor belt in the check out line at Aldi. That means I don’t need to flip out either.

Yesterday, when we walked into the doors of the library, Ella and Isaac picked out a book each, sat down at a table, and looked at the pictures while I walked over to the circulation desk to drop off our returns (the kids were in my sight the whole time, just so you know). When I got back to the table and sat down with the kids, an elderly lady approached us. She looked a little bit scowly, but what she said made my day. She gestured to the children and said, “They come in, they pick out a book, they sit down and read. They know just what to do. They amaze me!” I was tempted to say, “Thank you, but if you watch them for a few minutes, your opinion of them might change.” But I didn’t. I just said, “Thank you.” Why belittle the hard work we have all been putting in to behaving in public? The kids are learning and so am I. It’s not always perfect, but it’s worth the trouble to teach them how to behave in the places we want to go, whether that be the library, the restaurants without playgrounds, or big sister’s ballet recital. Deciding to throw fear of tantrums to the wind and go where we want to go has been a freeing and surprisingly pleasant experience, for the most part.

So take your kids to the library. Or wherever it is you want to go (within reason). And I’ll smile at you if you smile at me. It may not be a peaceful trip the first time, or even the tenth time, but the more we choose to  train our children in what we want them to know, the better off we’ll all be.

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Everyday Life, Parenting

5 Things I Learned From Homeschooling That Didn’t Come From Books

I mentioned a week ago that I’m starting some official pre-schooling at home with my four-year-old, Ella. What I didn’t mention is that I am a 2nd generation home-schooling mother. In other words, I was homeschooled and I am now homeschooling [insert your own joke about jean jumpers here]. I am so grateful for the education my mom and dad gave me. The parts I have found the most valuable, however, didn’t come from books. Yes, I do have a love for reading. But the most valuable things I learned from my parents were lessons learned alongside the books. Parents have a huge impact on children, no matter what kind of school work they do. Whether you’re homeschooling or traditionally schooling your kids, here are some lessons every kid needs to know.

1. Learning happens everywhere.

People started asking me when I was going to start Ella in school when she was as young as two-year-olds. I always wanted to say, “I already have,” but I knew that they were asking about formal school work. We’re doing a simple work book right now, but before, we just learned as we played. Ella learned her numbers, letters, colors, all the preschool stuff without ever doing an official preschool curriculum. Children simply love to learn.

2. Younger children are precious friends.

I was totally unaware that “big kids” didn’t like to play with little kids until I was about eight and my friend from down the road came over and made a huge deal of playing without my younger sister. My sister and I are almost four years apart, but we played everything together. The idea that older children aren’t cool if they play with younger children makes me sad. I am glad my mom made it clear that siblings are the most valuable friends, and I’m hoping to instill that truth in my children as they grow.

3. Hard work is important in whatever you do.

Good grades are a nice outcome of hard work. But so is building character. I want my kids to know that I am proud of their hard work more than their results. My parents reinforced this in our home. I was an overachiever, so the grades were usually good. But when they weren’t…when I bombed that 6th grade math test and had a mini identity crisis…my mom made sure I knew that the worth was in the work, not the grades. That has proven true in school work and in all other areas of my life. I started two of my jobs with no experience in the field I was working in, and I had a lot to learn. I wasn’t great at it at first, but my employers saw my hard work and gave me a chance to get things right. I can see my kids hearing this a lot as they grow up: the worth is in the way you work.

 

4. Opportunities are boundless.

I loved how my parents would tailor our schooling to what we really liked to do. P.E. classes were actually gymnastics classes. Music classes varied from piano lessons to choir. And if we showed interest in something, we were encouraged to do more with it. My dad encouraged me to make hanging baskets of pansies and sell them. My mom gave me scraps to sew. At age 16, I got a job teaching gymnastics. There are all kinds of opportunities for your kids to do what they love, if they have some encouragement from you to think that way about their skills and passions.

5. All children learn differently.

I know I’m going to have to learn this for myself with my own children. Still, watching how my mom approached teaching each of us differently has been invaluable in how I approach working with my own children and others’ children, too.

Here’s to another school year starting. Wherever you send your children, we all need to remind ourselves that the most important lessons don’t have much to do with books.

Nonfiction, Parenting, Reading, Reviews

The Artist’s Daughter

If you’re a part of a Mother of Preschoolers (MOPS) group, chances are good you’ll be hearing about The Artist’s Daughter in the coming months. I am helping to start a MOPS group this Fall and so I had the privilege of reading the copy that came with our coordinator’s welcome package. I thought it was a great book, and I can’t wait to discuss it this spring with our MOPS group. (MOPS Plug: If you’re in South Carolina and interested in a MOPS group, let me know!)

The Artist's DaughterThe Artist’s Daughter is a memoir by Alexandra Kuykendall. Here’s the description from Goodreads.com:

“When Alexandra Kuykendall became a mother it was the beginning of a soul-searching journey that took her into her past and made her question everything she’d experienced–and a lot of what she hadn’t. The only daughter of a single, world-traveling mother and an absent artist father, Alexandra shares her unique quest to answer universal questions: Am I lovable? Am I loved? Am I loving?

In short, moving episodes, Alexandra transports readers into a life that included a childhood in Europe, a spiritual conversion marked more by questions than answers, a courtship in the midst of a call to be with troubled teens, marriage and motherhood–and always, always, the question of identity. Through her personal journey, women will discover their own path to understanding the shape of their lives and a deeper sense of God’s intimate presence within it.”

I was surprised at what a page turner this book turned out to be for me. Kuykendall writes with such honesty and infuses a desire to change and help others change in her writing. I related to her as a person, even though her family situation is nothing like mine. The importance of accepting yourself, embracing your identity, and relying on God in parenting is a key component to the memoir. Kuykendall also writes about how important her support system (a MOPS group) is to her parenting journey. I don’t want to say too much because I hope you’ll read this one for yourself! If you liked Jeanette Walls’s memoirs The Glass Castle and Half Broke Horses, you’ll like this one, too. It doesn’t contain the stunning situations or details Walls’s memoirs include, but it is a well-written memoir about a daughter coming to terms with a parent as she becomes a parent herself.

 

Children's Books, Everyday Life, Parenting, Reading, Reviews

August Reading, Part 1

This is a two-part post because it’s looking like I’ll have to do two August reading posts. August has yielded a bumper crop of good books so far.

I’ll post full reviews of the books I’ve read in the next few days.

Read:

Wildwood Dancing (Wildwood, #1)Wildwood Dancing by Juliet Marillier is a retelling of The Twelve Dancing Princesses, but with many additions and twists. I fully enjoyed how Marillier made the fairy tale into a completely developed plot full of lifelike characters, but kept the fanciful and enchanted feel of the story. There is so much more to this story than the original fairy tale. The princesses in the real story are middle class merchant daughters in this story, and there are only five of them. The enchanted place they go to is actually a parallel world. The secrets to their futures is entrenched in one tragic day from the past. The book takes readers into Transylvania of long ago, before Bram Stoker’s Dracula, and Marillier uses original folklore and Romanian language to enhance her tale. It’s got a lot going for it! This book is a gem of a novel masquerading as a run of the mill Young Adult book. I’d give it 4.5 stars and recommend it for anyone who likes a fun and imaginative tale.

 

IslandersI finally finished Islanders by Helen Hull this month! There are many themes one could discuss in Islanders; it’s kind of Edith Wharton meets Laura Ingalls meets Kate Chopin. I think I liked it. It certainly is the handiwork of a great author, whose characters are complex and honestly portrayed, so much so that one can’t actually love them whole-heartedly. The book was a survey of womanhood in the 1850s-1920s, told through the life of Ellen Dacey. The major theme is isolation and dependence. I didn’t like it as much as Heat Lightning, but I did enjoy its perspective. More to come in the full review!

 

The Weird SistersMy favorite book of the month was The Weird Sisters by Eleanor Brown. I picked up this book off a random “to be shelved” cart near the children’s section at 2nd & Charles. While my children perused the Thomas and Friends and Curious George selection, I read the first chapter, and then reserved it at the library on my iPhone. It is a quirky story of three sisters. Their father is a somewhat eccentric Shakespeare professor at Barnwell College in Ohio. The sisters are different, but so very alike. The references to the reading culture of the entire family and the insights into a family of three girls sometimes made me smile. I am one of three sisters, and there are definitely similarities between the sisters in this book and my own sisters and I (however, my sisters are way more awesome than the younger two sisters in this book). If you are a hardcore Shakespeare scholar, you probably won’t like this book, but if you are a casual fan of Shakespeare and family life novels, you’ll like this one.

The nonfiction hanging out on my nightstand this month is Francis Schaeffer on the Christian Life: Countercultural Spirituality. I am a painfully slow biography reader, but I thank my book group leader for picking out this book. It has challenged me, for sure.

And…drumroll…I started pre-K homeschooling with my 4-year-old, Ella, this week. We are doing some basic letter sounds and writing, and reading a book together.photo.JPG

Right now we’re reading The Boxcar Children. Any suggestions for chapter books for a little girl with a sharp mind and sensitive heart? I’d love to hear them!

What are you reading this month?