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It’s Not Too Late For Christmas

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December 17th comes. I wake to find an unwelcome cold settling into my chest, but I also wake to feel something else settling in me– the softening joy and light finally taking hold in my mind and heart that tells me: It’s Christmas. I was supposed to feel like this on December 1st. Or was it November 28th? That day when Americans decide the Christmas season can start, when the attics are thrown open and red bows and colorful lights descend into our midst. That day when we are supposed to flip a switch and bring Christmas spirit in full to our homes and our families. But…what about when we can’t find the switch? Where is the On button for Christmas in ourselves?

I’ve never found it. Every year this happens. I’ve been doing all the right things…the advent studies, the decorating, the shopping (if Amazon counts), the driving around looking at lights, the Christmas movies and hot chocolate….but I have never been able IMG_4804[1]to manufacture the sense that a special time has begun. The warmth and joy in the Christmas season doesn’t come when I tell it to. It crawls into my consciousness slowly. Maybe Little Drummer Boy has to play at least twenty times. Maybe the smell of the Christmas tree has to permeate the living room completely for two weeks. Maybe I have to have eighty percent of my shopping done. I haven’t figured out the formula, but I do know that I am not into Christmas starting on December 1st. I do not dig that rule. Sure, I’ll start preparing, because that’s what it takes to make Christmas happen in a family. But when I start to get a certain panicky feeling nine days before Christmas Day because we haven’t yet made Christmas cookies or put the new bows on the porch or made any cool Christmas crafts, I have to remind myself: it’s not too late.

It’s not too late for Christmas.

We are not running behind just because we’ve pinned more than we can ever bake. We are not missing the boat when our wreaths are not made yet. Guess what? Christmas is a day. It’s one day when we welcome our Savior anew and when we gather our loved ones and offer gifts to them because we ourselves have been given so much. I like the idea of celebrating a whole season with beauty and happiness just as much as the next girl. But it’s high time we all refuse to believe that if we don’t start early, we don’t start at all. We have not missed Christmas. Put up those lights you meant to put up two weeks ago. Begin an advent activity on Day 17. Finish the craft you started. So we didn’t start reading Christmas books until yesterday. So you won’t get a tree up until tomorrow. So you can’t feel like it’s Christmas until you’re home the day before Christmas. You’re grieving someone who won’t be here this Christmas for the first time ever? Me, too. Cry on, and as Meg Ryan says in You’ve Got Mail, put up more twinkle lights. You don’t have a Christmas photo this year? Me, neither. You’re in the middle of moving? I’ve been there, and I’m drinking a cup of coffee in honor of you right now. Put on some Christmas music, and soak up what’s there, but banish the guilt.

There’s this day we get to celebrate, and what a privilege it is if we get to stretch it out into more days of celebration. But it’s not a rule and it doesn’t have to be a burden. It’s all supposed to be a gift.  

It’s December 17th.  I’m going to bake some cookies. I’m going to fold some laundry. I’m going to wrap some presents. I’m going to wash the dishes. And in it all, I’m going to remember, it’s not too late for Christmas.

Everyday Life, Parenting

Babies And Technology – My Favorite Blogs and Podcasts

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Every time I have added a baby to my life, I have also added a new technology to save my sanity. You may be thinking of baby monitors or food grinders, which are good for maintaining sanity in our work loads, but there’s another kind of sanity that needs maintaining underneath all the ins and outs of caring 24/7 for a baby. I’m talking about brains here, folks. There is nothing I hate more than the term “mommy brain” (okay, yes there is, things like terrorism I hate more, but let’s go with it as a figure of speech). Sure, moms have a lot to think about and keep track of, but the idea that we get dumber as we have children is so insulting and wrong and we actually embrace it is an idea. Why do we do that to ourselves? Granted, we do have to face the fact that lots of mothering, especially with newborns, is monotonous. I think that’s why I felt a need for something to change up my routine and add a way for my brain to be active while also nurturing the new life I was responsible for.  Maybe that’s why every time I added a baby, I found myself adding a new technology, as well.

Blogs

With my first child, I discovered the blog world. People were writing blogs about everything and I never knew it before 2009! My favorite blogs at the time were ones that made me laugh or that were sympathetic to the new mother plight. Here are the ones that are still my favorites:

Memories on Clover Lane – I respect this blogger’s opinions on raising children so much! And we have similar tastes in books…

Modern Mrs. Darcy – Anne is a way more sophisticated book blogger than I’ll ever be!

Wenzel Photography – I love her photos. Especially since sometimes my kids show up in them, and almost always my nieces and nephews. #familyperks

Shauna Niequist – Her writing is so vivid and convincing, she makes me imagine I could actually be a “foodie” or “a creative” or all kinds of other crazy things that I’m not. =) No, I’ll never be a foodie, but one of her books really changed my perspective on life.

The Big Mama Blog – I find I have less and less in common with her, but she still makes me laugh.

E-Books

When my second-born was a few weeks old, we moved what felt like a long way away from any library. It was a temporary move, but I still thought it was pretty thoughtful that my husband decided it would be a good time for me to get an e-reader. He presented me with a Nook, and I honestly thought “He doesn’t even know me. I am a BOOK lover! How can he think I’d like one of these things?” But oh, how well he really does know me. Because suddenly, with a few clicks, I had a new book at my finger tips.. I didn’t have to drive 45 minutes to the library and I didn’t have to take my little children anywhere! What’s more, I could hold that book in one hand while holding a baby in the other, and I could read it in the dark, all night long if need be! Yes, yes, I still prefer paper books, but I am a fan of the e-reader. I now use a Kindle because the books are usually a bit more affordable and it’s easier to borrow books through my library’s website.

Podcasts

The birth of my third child found me in way over my head. I had a five-year-old who was a wonderful big sister, very thoughtful and good at taking care of others. She was also precocious, and her highest love language has always been quality time, so it’s easy for me to feel like I can’t give her the attention her intellect and heart need from me. Then there was my then three-year-old, a delightful boy and brimming over with raw, unending energy. I had no idea to harness it into anything good in his life. And then there was this baby who was so different than my other two. She cried. A lot. I needed help. I needed constant wisdom drumming into my head. By chance one day, I saw a friend post on Facebook that she loved to listen to podcasts while she went on walks. I checked out a few she recommended, and I kid you not when I say they have been a game changer in my mothering. The perspective they offer on all kinds of issues is invaluable. I realize that the podcast genre is wide and there are all kinds of topics – I’ve even listened to some of them – but what I come back to in this stage of my life are these blogs that speak to the struggles and joys of life in the trenches as a mom:

God Centered Mom – Heather is raising four boys and the questions she asks her guests are exactly the kind of questions I have in my mothering journey.

Inspired to Action – Kat is full of practical wisdom and so are her guests

Read Aloud Revival – This podcast centers on the topic of reading aloud to your kids – what to read, when to read, how it looks in different families…it’s just a fun book gab, really.

Sally Clarkson – Sally Clarkson is the mentor I don’t personally know. I love her book Mission of Motherhood and her podcast reminds me of the big picture and the ultimate goals I have for my children.

I don’t know where I’m going to turn for brain food if we add another child. Video games? Netflix? Just kidding. Still, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I was looking for brain food each time I was in the very demanding but very basic phase of newborn mothering. Mothers need brain food! We are not dummies! [Okay, I’ll get off my soap box now]. I’d love to know if any moms out there felt similar needs when they’re babies were little. And I’d love to know if you have any favorite podcasts or blogs I should check out!

Children's Books, Three Book Thursday

Happy Thanksgiving! {Three Book Thursday on Tuesday}

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girlreadingjwsmithThree Book Thursday is on Tuesday this Thanksgiving week. This blog feature is all about our favorite children’s books of the week, and celebrating those moments when we can say, ‘Yes, just one more book.’ See all the posts in the category here. And check out the now discontinued series about children’s book’s, Friday Favorites, here. 

This morning we woke up to frost on the cars and a deep blue sky that makes the few leaves holding onto the trees stand out all the brighter. It seems official now that the holidays are upon us.

I got a brief reprieve from all that last weekend, however, when a hope to visit my sister in L.A. suddenly became a reality. I’m a mom of three, not a woman who jumps on a plane on a whim very often/EVER. But my very loving husband made it all possible and I spent four days in Los Angeles. The first full day was amazing–sere mountains and hot sunshine and Malibu beaches. The second day was wonderful, too, with a hike to Griffin Observatory up a secret staircase in the morning. The afternoon became overcast and chilly, but with a huge bookstore in the heart of your city, gloomy afternoons are not  a problem! The Lost Bookstore yielded some jewels I have been longing for that, yes, I put in my carry on and lugged all the way home with me.  Here’s what I got:

Baby Dear is my favorite find of the week. This is how bookstore shopping goes for me:

~Step One: See vintage book illustrated by Eloise Wilkin.

~Step Two: Buy the book. Baby Dear (Little Golden Book)

I’m like Mel Gibson’s character in Conspiracy Theory, impulsively buying Eloise Wilkin books in every bookstore I go to (which is a big improvement on  Catcher in The Rye, I have to say). So far I haven’t experienced a sudden, undeniable urge to find a bookstore immediately at random moments in my day and buy one of her books, but I have some fears. Baby Dear is a book any little girl with a younger sibling will love to get as a Big Sister gift. My littlest one, 16-month-old Violet, simply loves it because it has babies in it and she loves babies. Really, you don’t need a reason to buy a book illustrated by Eloise Wilkin. Buy it. You will not be disappointed. If I would just remember when I’m having a bad day to go bury my face in The Boy With A Drum, My Goodnight Book, We Help Daddy, etc., there is not a chance the day wouldn’t get at least a little bit better.

Okay. Moving on.

Richard Scarry’s Best Storybook Ever is an elusive book that somehow ends up on all Richard Scarry's Best Storybook Ever!kinds of highly respected reading lists but never in my local library or book sales. For a few years now, I’ve wanted to get my hands on it, but it was just too expensive to buy. I was so excited to find a vintage copy for just $5 in L.A.! And I will now proceed to read myself hoarse for the remainder of my mothering life. Richard Scarry is awesome…and wordy. These big, thick treasuries are so great for rest time, though. If you’re lucky, one such book can offer maybe half an hour of quiet entertainment.

 

Winter HolidayMike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel and Curious George rounded out my picture book finds. I was also excited to find one of the books in Arthur Ransome’s Swallows and Amazons series. Winter Holiday introduces some neighbors visiting a nearby farm who become friends with the children from the original Swallows and Amazons. These books are great for adventurous kids, especially boys. I didn’t discover them until my husband bought the book after we got married, and I still enjoy this series as an adult. Caution: these books will make you want to take up sailing. And packing giant picnics to eat on deserted islands. There’s your fair warning.

Sadly, I didn’t stumble upon any jewels in the grown up books. Luckily, I’m in the middle of the long overlooked Kristin Lavransdatter by Sigrid Undset. It’s roughly 1168 pages, so that should see me through at least the end of the week/year.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

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Children's Books, Friday Favorites - Children's Books, Parenting, Three Book Thursday

Cookies and Books: Nurturing Yourself and Your Children At The Same Time

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girlreadingjwsmithAfternoons are hard. Everyone is tired, and trying their best to transition from morning to evening, from resting to ramping up their energy again, or in my case, from folding clothes quietly to cooking dinner with three kids underfoot. I’ll be honest: some (many) days when the kids get up from their afternoon quiet time, they get to watch TV. I try to keep it to every other day, but it’s kind of a seasonal thing. In the summer it’s less, in the winter, it’s more. But some days, the attitudes are especially shoddy, making me more aware of my children’s need for time with me. And I feel that tug: how do I give these children anything when at this point in the day, I’m running on empty?

The answer? Cookies and books.

One of my favorite book mom mentors, Sally Clarkson, often says it’s important to bring your children into the activities that you enjoy and that feed your soul. I love that concept – we as moms can be nurtured and nurturing at the same time.  Sometimes I remember that, and sometimes I have the wisdom and energy to do things a little differently in the transition hours, more commonly (and accurately) called “the witching hours.” I lay out some real plates and glasses on the table, get some cookies from the freezer and stick them in the microwave (or graham crackers if the baking hasn’t happened in a while!), and pour milk in fancy glasses. Then I go to the kids’ room a few minutes before their quiet time timer dings, and whisper, “Come to the kitchen!” Sometimes we have a IMG_4547little bit of hot herbal tea with honey instead of milk and cookies. Sometimes we’re finishing up some lemonade or cake from a family birthday party. Whatever the food is, along with it is always a book. This time is for a book I choose that I know will feed their minds. Their small hands are busy with their cookies, but their minds are taking it all in. When we come together at the table, all of the bickering, busyness, and mess of the day is suspended for a few minutes. I love these times at the table. They bring the things I like doing – reading books, eating cookies, and spending happy time with my children – all together. We all get what we need, and it’s always worth the few extra dishes or the lost productivity because the children feel loved and cared for and able to cope with the rest of the day, and so do I. I wish I did this cookies and books time every day! That’s not a reality right now. But I cherish the times when we’re able to set everything else aside and pick up a book, a cup, a story, an idea, a love of learning, and a love for each other.

Not everyone likes books and cookies (okay, everyone probably likes cookies). Maybe you love to run. Maybe you like scrapbooking, cooking, walking, or maybe what you love above all else is window shopping. My kids and I sometimes make up silly stories together. Whatever it is you like to do, maybe try doing it with your children? It gets really hard to do the things you love as your children take more of your time, but it helps you all to speak the same language later in life if you share what you love now. Your favorite activity won’t be the same when you bring your children into it with you, but it will be better than nothing! Choose your Cookies and Books – whatever you like to do together- and make it happen once in a while! You’ll be glad you did.

Here are the books I’ve chosen for our Cookies and Books Time this week:

Rachel and Obadiah – We loved Obadiah the Bold, so we had to track down other books by Brinton Turkle about Obadiah. However, this one was more about Rachel. Where Obadiah was great for a little brother, Rachel and Obadiah is great for a little sister who feels the need for some appreciation. The illustrations are so lovely, and it’s fun to read the Quaker wording. Isaac was not as big a fan of it because the girl is the winner in the end, but Ella liked it a lot.

Wilfrid Gordon McDonald PartridgeWilfrid Gordon McDonald Partridge – Mem Fox is an famous children’s author with whom I am sadly unfamiliar. I enjoyed my first experience of her books this week! This book made me want to cry a little, because my kids have a great, great aunt who is exactly the age of the woman in the book. Wilfrid, the little boy, thoughtfully gathers all the things he thinks will help her find her memories again, and the result is very touching. That was my take on it, anyway! When I got done reading it to Isaac and Ella, Ella’s response was, “Well. That was a weird book.” So maybe don’t expect your kids to love it. But it’s a sweet book that could aid in discussion about elderly family members whose memories aren’t what they used to be. The illustrations by Julie Vivas keep things lighthearted and fun.

What books are you reading with kiddos this week?

Everyday Life, Saturday Cooking

Simple and Creamy Blueberry Baked Oatmeal

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This is absolutely the recipe I have missed the most during our Whole30. It’s the easiest hot breakfast ever, my whole family gobbles it up, and it’s healthy! I’ll be making this Saturday morning when our Whole30 is over (with almond milk, so as not to throw our systems into shock just yet…). I’m sharing it today in honor of National Oatmeal Day (is that really a thing? apparently it is).

A lot of baked oatmeal recipes will give you a drier, more bread-like pan of oatmeal that you can cut into bars. This is a creamy recipe that you will want to scoop into a bowl, which is more comforting somehow. It’s awesome for winter, but we make it all year round. My kids love to take their bowls of creamy oatmeal to the play house on bright summer mornings.

Ingredients:

2 cups of old fashioned oats

1.5 cups of milk

1.5 cups of water

1 cup of fresh or frozen blueberries

3-4 Tbsps of brown sugar

1 tsp of cinnamon

Here’s all you do: dump all the ingredients into your 9×9 or thereabouts baking dish, stir it all together, bake it for 15-20 minutes at 350. Seriously, you don’t even have to wait for the oven to preheat, though it’s a good idea to turn it on first thing. I check on mine around the ten minute mark and add a little more milk or water if it’s looking too dry for our liking.

And that’s it! Creamy blueberry oatmeal for everyone. This recipe serves our family of two adults and three small children with no leftovers. I need to start doubling it! It’s pretty good leftover, too, heated in the microwave with just a little extra milk to keep it moist. Mmmm….I can’t wait til Saturday.